Rebellious Joy

It has been a while since I have put out any new posts, and there are a few reasons for that. I have actually written around four other posts, but none of them sounded right or I did not feel like it was the right time to release them. The other reason is one I am sure many people will empathise with: I feel very weary.

I have had many conversations with people over the last few weeks and even months that echo this. Whether it be hearing about parents who are feeling they are not doing a good job parenting their children resulting in feelings of inadequacy, to church leaders who just want to lead, and even to people who are just downright sick of everything (and to be very honest with you, dear reader, that last one I feel quite often). Hello 2021, we’re all exhausted, can you let us take five? We are in this mode where life feels so monotonous and tiring because you feel as if you are merely existing rather than living.

It is in times like these turning to Jesus is incredibly difficult. When there is a lot of pain and hardship going on in my life, in some ways I find it easier to turn to God about it, because whatever is happening is usually more obviously out of my control, so I have to turn to God about it.

But this feels different. Imagine you are going for a run and you are constantly looking in front of you. You are running until, without realising it, you begin to start ‘running’ through a muddy bog. You are putting in just as much, if not more effort than you usually would but are going nowhere near as fast or as far as you were. That is what I see many people feeling like right now, and it is in these times that many of us, including myself, find it difficult to turn to Jesus. That is because at the end of the day you are still moving, even if it is very slowly, so it can feel as if you do not need to rely on God to help you through it, like you have still got everything under control.

However, global family, you are not going to get through that muddy bog on your own. At some point you are going to have to ask for someone to help pull you out. Personally, this is a hard pill for me to swallow as it means swallowing my pride and also addressing the fact that God does in fact have my best interest and knows better than I do. So, we must turn to Jesus with it.

However, my dear reader, I want to address the fact that this really is hard, and I do not want to make light of that. It may be in your weariness that you cannot find the words to pray, and that is okay, and I empathise. But something that I myself am still learning and attempting to practice is that even in these moments where we do not seem to know how to pray, Jesus gave us words to use in what we now call the Lord’s Prayer which can be found in Mathew 6:9-13/Luke 11:2-4. Or maybe even using liturgy, I would suggest looking the Northumbrian liturgies, or the Celtic Liturgies, or if you really would like to give it a go, I would suggest a book called Every Moment Holy.

It is in these times where we struggle to come to our knees where we must do precisely that. I will push you and myself even further by saying that this is a time to delight in God when for many of us I imagine it is the last thing you want to be doing. I was listening to a sermon of one of my favourite speakers and theological and church leader hero’s, Jon Tyson, recently and in the talk, he talked about how towards the beginning of the pandemic he and his wife got Covid, and his wife got ill so badly that they were facing a reality where she might not make it. But he said he was having some time with God during all of this and he kept getting this sense that he should be delighting in God and it was the very last thing he wanted to be doing.

If your delighting needs to involve lamenting, then lament! Around two thirds of the Psalms have themes of lament in them. However, all but one of those two thirds also has delighting in and thankfulness to God in them. I encourage you to use them if you need the words to help you express your grief so that you may delight in the Lord.

Church let us delight in God’s presence even in and particularly in this season where it is the last thing we feel like doing. Life is hard, and again, I do not want to make light of that fact, but it is now more than ever that we need to turn to the One who truly loves us, to the One where our joy comes from.

Psalm 136:1, “Give thanks to the Lord, for He is good. His love endures forever.”

Bit by bit, step by step, prayer by prayer, He will lead us out of this muddy bog. So, rebelliously delight in the Lord against the feeling of the day. For He is leading you out.

Shalom in your guts.